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When faced with a breakup, it can be one of the most difficult times of your life. If very emotionally attached to someone, it can be devastating when that person is no longer in your life. In knowing someone for years, and having them be in integral part of your life, once they are gone, the change can be drastic. This is not something easily shrugged off or can swiftly be gone from your life. However, there are seven key words, which may help tremendously, when needing help in dealing with a lost love. First, it is important to understand exactly what situation you are in, why it happened and then how to recover.

As we all pass through this maze called “life”, most of us enter and leave many relationships. Sometimes we are the one left behind. Sometimes we are the one doing the leaving. If we are the one to leave the relationship, it does not always denote that we do so with a happy heart. If the relationship is failing and our partner does not meet our needs, if they have betrayed us, or otherwise, then leaving is sometimes the only option.

It is important to remember that the majority of people will not grow old with the first person that they love. Put into perspective that heartaches are a natural part of life, that people entering and exiting your life, is quite expected. It is a long and sometimes painful journey to find our true love. Most often, we believe we have found “the one”, only to discover we were mistaken. If we know ahead of time, that breakups are expected, it takes away some of the shock value. Not to say that one should enter a relationship totally expecting it to fail, however it is useful to be realistic about the very good possibility that the other person may not, in the end, be the person for you.

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Enjoy your time together. Get to know one another. Have a good outlook. Nevertheless, always keep in the back of your mind that a healthy, strong, loving relationship that withstands the test of time does not simply come easy. True love does not just knock at our door. To completely know someone can take years. It is a risk to spend this time on a relationship, only to know that it may not work out. However, if we do not try, we are preventing any chance of finding the mate that we will grow old together with.

With the mindset of understanding that true love is difficult to find, although not impossible, and the knowledge that breakups are in inevitable part of life, one can then move on to consider a way to dealing with the breakups.

The seven keys words are, “Just someone that I used to know”. What does this mean? Think about a relationship that you had many years ago. A relationship, that at the time of its end, you felt disappointed, perhaps even devastated. At the time of the breakup, chances are, you went through a very difficult time in your life. Your thoughts most probably consumed with thinking of the other person. You most likely told yourself that you were never going to find another love. What do you think about that ex now? In all probability is quite easy to say to yourself that was “just someone that I used to know”.

The person that once broke your heart and left you in a state of depression and confusion is now, “just someone that you used to know”. They do not affect you now in anyway. Your life went on. You probably went through many changes. Perhaps you moved into a new residence, changed careers, found new loves. All of the changes you made in your life, you made without your ex involved in any way.

Considering that fact, if now faced with a breakup or you are now in the situation of being in a relationship that appears to be dieing, think about those seven key words. No matter how much your heart may be hurting, this person will someday be to you, “just someone that I used to know”. This may sound easy said than done. However, if you try to put things into point of view, it may open your eyes to a possibility.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of obsessing about the person in the failing or lost relationship. If you take the normal route, you may think about them constantly. The image of them may be continuously in your mind. You may sit by the phone, praying that it rings and the other person is calling to say they made a mistake and they love you. You may have trouble sleeping. You may have spurts of crying, sometimes severe. The emotional pain of the breakup may be disrupting your work, disrupting your family and private life.

Taking that all into thought, give yourself a moment to breathe. Allow all feelings of this other person to leave your mind, just momentarily. Now, say the seven key words to yourself. One day, not too far in the future, as life moves on, (and you know that we have no control to the fact that it will move on), this person will indeed be someone you will refer to as “just someone that I used to know”. It is a fact, there is no denying it. Given this infallible knowledge, it is useless energy to deprive yourself of a life, mourning the loss of the other person, when you already see the future.

While we all at some point have wished that we had the power to see the future, in this aspect, we truly do. There is no doubt about it. Just as the sun will rise each day, just as the sky is blue and the grass is green, it is a fact. The person that broke your heart, the person that perhaps sent you into shock, the person that maybe betrayed you, will be the person that you refer to as “just someone that I used to know”. Keep that in mind, when you believe they are worth crying over.

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