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Dealing
With The Painful Loss Of A Loved One
About the Author: Anna Allen is author of several articles
on depression and grief. Visit her depression website at:
http://www.depressionadviceonline.com
or visit her Depression Blog which contains helpful articles that are updated
daily:
http://depressionadviceonline.blogspot.com
I had to take a friend to the doctor
today and as I sit here in the waiting room about to doze off I begin to
write this article. By the way, why do waiting rooms in doctor's offices
make people sleepy?
OK,
let me get back on track. As I'm sitting here, I hear a lady behind me talking
of her past depression. She mentions she felt so lonely after her dear husband
passed away. In her own words, 'her whole world fell apart.' She said her
husband handled everything in their marriage such as the money, bills and
auto maintenance. After he passed away she became overwhelmed with all the
finances and other responsibilities she now had to deal with, not to mention
the fact that she was still mourning the death of her husband.
This conversation got me to thinking of how
many people deal with the painful loss of a loved one.
Many times when a loved
one passes, those left behind might not immediately feel the effects of that
loss. It has not 'hit them' or 'sunk in' yet. Sometimes it takes a while
for a person to react to the loss. Some may try to stay strong or hide their
feelings in front of others. But when the funeral is over and the family
and friends have returned to their homes, the person may break down. It finally
sinks in. Some sink into a depression so bad they close themselves off from
the rest of the world. They take extra time off from work and even turn down
invitations from family and
friends.
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Isolation and self-pity are never the answer. It's okay to mourn. Even people
in Bible times mourned when they lost loved ones in death.
A few examples of this include:
* King David who was grief stricken when his
son Absalon died (2Samuel 18:33)
* Abraham bewailed the loss of his dear wife,
Sarah (Genesis 23:2)
* Even Jesus himself, who was a perfect man,
'gave way to tears' over the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35)
So this shows that there is a sadness when we
lose a loved one to death.
The thing is to not dwell on everything. Keep
busy. Get involved in other things such as hobbies. Get you mind off the
loss. The memories will always be there but they don't have to be painful.
Another thing that can help you deal with your sorrow
is Bible reading. God, being the loving God that he is, helps his people
to endure the extreme sadness and grief that comes with bereavement. God's
spirit helps us to have peace and faith in the worderful future promised
in his Word the Bible.
The Scriptures refer to God as 'the God of all
comfort,' so we can be sure that he will give us the strength we need and
not let us be overwhelmed by sad thoughts about our dead loved one.
Knowing all this should help us realize that
we are not alone in experiencing the pain of our loss. Others have been through
the same thing. In time, the pain will subside. The world is not going to
stop for our broken heart. Life will go on. Things WILL get better.
So knowing all of this and the fact that even
the perfect man Jesus went through this as well, should help us to deal with
the painful loss of a loved
one.
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Article
by:
Rose DesRochers is
a published poet and freelance writer. Rose has been writing poetry for more
than 20 years. She is also the founder of
www.todays-woman.net , a supportive
online writing community for men and women over 18. She is also the Assistant
Administrator of
www.invision-graphics.com.
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